Worth
by TedTheTalkingPotato
Summary: He never expected to find himself in a situation like this one. Established NovemberxHei. Warnings inside. AU


**Well, this is something a little different. I've been toying around with the idea of an AU where Hei leaves The Syndicate and joins MI6 after Heaven's gate disappears. Why? I'm still working on that xP. This is just some musings on it. Maybe it'll turn in to a multi-chapter in the near future?**

**Warning: Attempted suicide. Angstangstanst, and OOC November. **

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It was three days since November smoked a cigarette, and it was only four hours ago that he froze a small glass of water. The Brit curled in on himself, finding the plushness of his bed suffocating as he shivered uncontrollably. Chills came and went in waves, but November wouldn't give in to his payment.

He saw no point in it now.

_"I have to find him April! We need to go!" November was trying talk some sense into the woman as he tried to brush his way past her. He was more than surprised at her resilience._

_"November, sit down. We just need to wait for our orders." It was surprising that April, known for her lack of following protocols or anything resembling rules, was trying to reason with the Brit. She couldn't stand watching the man fall apart before her eyes. She couldn't bear to tell him the news of Hei's whereabouts, or lack of._

_"Just, sit. I need to tell you something." April tried not give away her own sorrow. Her tone alone made November stand stock still, eyes full of too much emotion for a contractor of his caliber._

_"Tell me April. If you know something, tell me. Now."_

_April tried to ignore the wavering in the blond's voice and her own emotions stinging at her eyes. She struggled with her words for what felt like hours, until finally she said all that was needed to confirm Novembers worst fear._

_"He was killed in action."_

_The women expected November to react a number of ways. She expected him to shout, yell at the top of his lungs, and crumple to the floor where she would try to console him. Calm and collected was not what she prepared herself to deal with. November stared at April, like he hadn't heard a thing, before he went over to open the door of his apartment._

_"I need to be alone."_

_April was hesitant to walk out on November. To leave him with life shattering news, but taking another look at the blond and she knew if she refused he would bodily throw her out himself. April would rather have a calm November than an angry one, so she left quietly. Without so much as another word._

_November shut the door, but once alone in his eerily quiet apartment he didn't know what to do._

_He went into the kitchen and poured himself a small glass of water, taking small sips as he paced. November eventually found himself in his and Hei- his bedroom. November set the half full glass of water down on the nightstand and made his way over to the bathroom, flipping up the toilet seat. He patted his jacket pockets for his pack of cigarettes. It was mostly full, but November dumped it out into the toilet nonetheless, flushing the source of his payment down into the gutters._

_The Brit returned to his waiting glass of water, contemplating finishing it off, until it suddenly froze on the spot. November wasn't too alarmed as the blue light enveloping his body slowly faded away._

_His hand reflexively went to the pocket that always held his cigarettes, but he stopped midway when he remembered what he had done. The corner of November's lips curled up slightly, sad more than anything, as he stripped down to his shorts. It was such a lie that contractors felt nothing. _

_He pulled back the covers of his bed, slipping in and making himself comfortable. All he had to do was wait._

November could recollect little of what he had done before when he woke freezing underneath the covers. He could do nothing to get warm. He couldn't find the strength to try.

_'Well, this beats melting like butter.'_ November chuckled to himself. That rumor of contractors who could not make their payment was officially debunked, but it wasn't likely that the blond would be able to tell anyone that.

November shut his eyes for a second time, breathing shallow and heart beat slow.

He didn't pay attention to the sounds coming from behind his bedroom door, or when it opened to reveal a certain man standing at the door frame.

Hei had fought tooth and nail to come home. He'd bypassed reporting in to his superiors when he finally managed to escape the contractors that had him fighting for his life.

Hei was more than surprised that he came out of it with just a few cracked ribs, but that didn't stop him from seeing November. He found it odd that the man was in their bedroom so early in the evening, but alarm bells went off immediately when he zeroed in on November shivering in bed.

"November?" Hei called tentively as he made his way over to his partner, worry etched on his face when he noticed the Brit's healthy completion had taken on a deathly pallor. He reached out to touch him gently, and he retracted his hand immediately. November was freezing to the touch.

November stirred at the disturbance, pale blue eyes dull as he regarded Hei's battered form.

"I didn't know hallucinating was a part of the dieing process." The Brit mumbled quietly, trying to will himself back to a sleep from which he would not wake.

Hei was alarmed immediately. He looked around the room, and when his eyes fell on the glass with melting ice he knew what November had done. What he was attempting to do.

"November! I'm not a hallucination. It's me!" He tried to stay calm as he pulled the blond up to a sitting position, but he was practically dead weight in his arms.

"Hei..." November slurred, blinking slowly as his head lolled onto the man's shoulder. His body stopped shivering minutes ago. "You're dead. She told me...they told her..."

"No...come on November stay with me." Hei was shaking with worry.

_'Nonononono! This can't be happening!'_ The younger man was panicking on the inside.

November was barely responsive at this point, eyes hardly open to watch a multitude of emotions flash by in Hei's eyes.

_'It's too late. It's too late...'_

Hei did not want to give up, he would not give up. He left the Brit's side reluctantly, pulling open drawers, looking for a pack of cigarettes. None turned up, and Hei felt like the universe was screwing with him in the worst of ways. He was pulling at his hair, contemplating making a run for the store, but he knew he wouldn't make it back in time. He knew there were some tucked away somewhere, just for emergency's like the one he found himself in.

When November's breathing became audible labored Hei knew he didn't have much longer. He tried to calm himself, to think more clearly. In the instance that he took a breath, he suddenly remembered that he was still in his mission gear. He carried a cigarette or two just in case November could not supply some of his own when they went on missions together.

Hei's hands flew to the pouches on his belt, and on the second one he checked he pulled out just what he was looking for. A cigarette and lighter.

He was at November's side in an instant, propping the man up against the head board as he fumbled with the lighter, trying to get it to spark a flame.

"You're alright November. Just stay with me...please..." Hei was trying to hold back his emotions as he lit the cigarette with shaking hands. He held it up to the Brit's lips.

November inhaled weakly, coughing on the smoke, but Hei persisted and he took a couple more puffs. He still felt cold, but not deathly so when he felt the bed shift when Hei went to dispose of the cigarette. He returned not a second later, watching November quietly as the blond's strength slowly returned.

He opened his eyes to stare directly into Hei's own. They were glossy with tears that had slipped down his cheeks, and November immediately knew how much of an idiot he was. How much had scared his partner, having seen him practically pounding on Death's door.

Hei reached out to hold November's cold hand, fingers lacing together before he pulled the man to his chest.

"Never do something like that again. Contractors are suppose to make decisions based on whether it benefits them and their life. You moron..." Hei tried to hide his sobs with anger, but November wasn't fooled.

"My life wasn't worth much without you in it." November mumbled as he pressed himself closer to Hei's warm body. "I made a rational decision."

Hei tried to even out his shuddering breathes, fatigue seeping into his bones after so much panic. "I never want you making rational decisions like this ever again." The younger man knew he _might_ be able to handle losing November in a fight, a fate resigned to them both, but for the Brit to willingly take his own life was something entirely different.

"Promise me. Promise, November." Hei held him impossibly closer. The Brit in question nodded weakly against Hei's chest, listening to the younger man's erratic heart beat.

They both knew that he couldn't.

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**If this ever gets anywhere, which it might, I'd like to know from reviewers what codename I should give Hei? A month, or maybe something entirely different? Leave your suggestions in a review! **


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